her vagine was all disorganized.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize