There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
