gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize