I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
