I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
