Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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