I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
