You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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