i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
