He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
