I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
