I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
