Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
