That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
