He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
