i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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