So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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