I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
