to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
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I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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