Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My vagina is officially offended.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
