Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
