i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
