But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
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I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
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shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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