I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
