glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
