just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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