God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
