Your face is a jimmy john
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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