this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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