I CAN MOONWALK!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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