I got chris browned last night
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
