D3 body, D1 cock
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
