I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize