I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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