Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
