If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
