been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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