Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
