Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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