Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
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I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize