am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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