That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
