maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
