You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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