Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
