yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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