he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
