Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
