I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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