I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!