Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

that's an acceptable place to lick

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(209): View more from California

update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.

(1-209): View more from California

the house was on fire??

(209): View more from California

shit I thought I told you.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i love accidental penises.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

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(+47): View more from Norway

I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian

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(281): View more from Texas

I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...

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(415): View more from California

so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again

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(813): View more from Florida

Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.

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