i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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