I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body