The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh