Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
