i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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