3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
