he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
