Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
