watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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