my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
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I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
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I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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