I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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