She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
